Are you Queen, Warrior, Magician or Lover?
Personality type theories have been around at least since the ancient Greeks. Hippocrates, the father of Western medicine, developed a theory known as the four temperaments:
- Phlegmatic = relaxed and calm
- Choleric = ambitious and leader
- Sanguine = pleasure seeker and sociable
- Melancholic = introverted and thoughtful
In the 20th century, several corresponding theories were developed; most notably, Robert L. Moore’s interpretation of the Jungian archetypes, known as King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.
- Phlegmatic became… King
- Wrathful…Warrior
- Sanguine… Wizard
- Melancholic… Lover
More recently, psychiatrist Dr. Paul Dobransky created a system, loosely based on Moore’s categories, known as KWML.
- King/Queen = introverted and analytical
- Guerrero = outgoing and analytical
- Magician = outgoing and creative
- Lover = introvert and creative
Keep in mind that kings/queens and warriors are analytical. Magicians and lovers are both creative. Kings/Queens and lovers are introverts. Both warriors and mages are extroverts. Also, kings/queens and wizards are opposites, just like warriors and lovers.
Know yourself… and the rugged rogue you court
In fairness to Hippocrates, Moore, and Dobransky, the above definitions and comparisons are simplistic. Feel free to dig as deep into these theories to determine your own (or anyone else’s) personality makeup. Or, if you want a quick answer, you can take Dr. Paul’s short quiz at www.kwml.comand have the man (or woman) of your choice do the same.
Once you know your own personality type, you can set your sights on finding a suitable match. But what it is a proper match? Some say that opposites attract. Others insist that like attracts like. Which is the best route? In my experience, neither is always true. But both are usually present, albeit at different psychological levels.
instinct vs intellect
When it comes to gender instincts, the opposites complement each other. Thus, the phrase of the film jerry mcguire that makes all women melt: “You complete me!”
A Wizard completes a Queen (and a Lover completes a Warrior) in the sense that one is strong in the personality traits the other is weak in; and vice versa. Extroverts bring out introverts, and introverts bring out extroverts.
Likewise, the analytical one tends to be more logical, and the creative ones tend to be more spontaneous. Together, they make wise decisions.
However, when it comes to intellect and spirituality, I like it is usually better with I like it. A religious fundamentalist of one faith will probably not be happy in a romance with someone of any other faith. Nor will someone whose main passion is Russian literature be content with a long-term relationship with a barfly. Our higher brain faculties crave like-minded fellowship.
type test
I typically spend several weeks with clients honing their understanding of personality types, to the point where they can instantly tell a King from a Warrior, Wizard, or Lover. If your prospect has to be brought out of his shell, chances are he’s either a King or a Lover. If, on the contrary, he does not shut up, you can count on him being a magician or a warrior.
If he speaks logically and to the point, then he’s probably a King or a Warrior. However, if he jumps from one idea to the next, sometimes forgetting his original point, then I bet he’s either a Lover or a Magician.
Kings love to give advice. So if you suspect that his man is a king, ask him for advice on something and see if his eyes light up.
Lovers love to tell stories. Ask lovers about their latest creative project: novel, symphony, stand-up routine, etc. But be prepared to listen for a while.
Magicians tend to be charismatic, life-of-the-party types with short attention spans. They will make you feel like the most important person in the world. And then they’ll make the next person they meet feel the exact same way.
Warriors… well… they like to fight, even when they’re playing. If he disagrees with you, teases you a lot, or is generally a fighter, then he’s probably a Warrior.
Commit to learning about personality types
To get really good at these things, you have to work out in the field, in real life situations, preferably with a teacher. When I first got serious about improving my love life, I went out four nights a week for four months, practicing meeting people, and learning to decipher personality types.
Now, I can usually do it in a few seconds. And I know how to have fun with all types, not just mine or opposites. With knowledge and practice, you can learn how to attract the best men for your personality type!
