‘The Swinger Lifestyle’ – a definition.
The phrase; ‘The Swinger Lifestyle’ is one that has a relatively short history, probably only going back to the mid-1980s. While you may find slightly different definitions of the term, most refer to the behavior of couples only and do not extend its meaning. meaning to include singles.
I prefer to broaden the definition to include singles of both genders because many sexually liberated couples enjoy swinging with single women and single men, as well as other couples.
Consequently, my definition is: ‘The practice of non-monogamous sex and the belief that this benefits individual relationships and society in general..
It involves regularly engaging in sexual activities with a variety of different partners, often communally in threesomes, swingers, and other forms of group sex. However, as I extend my definition to include singles, I aim the advice given in this particular article primarily at couples.
First steps to enter the swinger lifestyle.
Many couples who have contemplated entering the swinger lifestyle think they can only do so by attending a party at a swinger club, but this is rarely an easy or sensible first step. I have heard of far too many instances where jumping into the deep waters of swinger parties has proven to be a disastrous first step that has damaged relationships and caused lasting emotional pain.
A more sensible strategy is to carefully discuss over a considerable period of time what both partners hope to gain from the swinger lifestyle. It is true that the swing can strengthen relationships, but when it is not equally suitable for both, it can weaken them to the point of destruction. Use the discussion and consideration period to find out all you can about the swing. Read articles written by people who have experienced the lifestyle with both positive and negative results.
Avoid the unhappiness of the swinger lifestyle.
Most important of all, both members of the couple realize that neither of them will be able to turn the clock back to the moment before their first swinger sex experience took place. This means that if any of the members of the couple wonder if they could end up regretting having had sex with another person or regretting having accepted their partner to do so; they can never “fix” it later.
Talking about these kinds of things means really listening to each other. Some people (especially men!) Don’t hear well. Over the many years running a swingers club, I have met quite a few people whose partners have ignored their true feelings about the swing. Most of the time, these unhappy souls play the role that is required of them, but every time I ask them what they enjoy the most about swinging, they have usually told me that it was making their partner happy!
Avoid being one of these submissive partners who accept everything ‘just to please’, instead taking the risk of being truly assertive during this essential pre-swing discussion process. On the other hand, don’t make up your mind until you’ve really listened and thoroughly considered all the pros and cons. Similarly, avoid being overbearing and oblivious to your partner’s true feelings. Listen carefully to everything she (or he) has to say throughout your discussions and be on the lookout for body language cues that could be indicating more than what your words are telling you.
Swinger Dating or Swinger Club Event?
End this process of consideration only when you and your partner feel absolutely certain that you have been given enough time to make an honest and united decision whether to take the next step towards the swinger lifestyle or to maintain your monogamous relationship. If your decision is to embark on the swinger lifestyle, your next step is to consider the best way to start.
Much will depend on what is available in your area. If there isn’t a good swingers club within the distance you’re willing to travel, or if you’re not comfortable with going to one yet, you’ll need to find other ways to meet up with swingers. .
The easiest way is to use a good online swinger dating club like Club Aphrodite, which has a large network of active members in all areas. Be sure to consider your preferences for what kind of kickoff meetings will be appropriate and relaxing for both of you. Going straight into a swinger party for the first time can be quite an intimidating experience for many, while meeting another couple in a neutral venue can be much less overwhelming. There can even be a big difference in the way a private home swingers party can feel compared to a swingers club based party. Everyone has different ideas about what is good for them. The essential thing is to follow the path that seems appropriate to you.
