Who are the Children of the Third Culture? Ruth Hill Useem (1999) first coined the term Third Culture Kids more than 40 years ago. TCKs are children who are members of expatriate families who reside outside the country of their passport for various periods of time. Other terms that have been used are global nomads, hidden immigrants, army brats, military brats, internationally mobile children, cross-cultural children (CCK), and missionary children (MK). They move from one country to another before returning to the country of their passport for a rotation (2-4 years), to resettle or attend university.
One of the things I noticed about Third Culture Kids is that we share similar lifestyle habits. I think we all develop a set of behaviors that help us cope with the losses that come with mobility. We may adopt these habits consistently over time (most of them didn’t come naturally to me at first) until they became automatic reflexes.
As I listened to my TCK friends on TCKID, I found myself reflecting on the similarities of my experience as a TCK. This mobile lifestyle experience has shaped many of my quirky habits, many of which have been influenced by the TCK experience.
I’ll start by saying that each TCK will have their own set of habits and rhythms that will reflect their lifestyle, depending on factors like personality type, education, age, family values, etc. For this reason, I’m looking forward to reading the clothes others are working on in the rest of this article.
But in the meantime, here are some TCK ‘habits’ or attitudes I’ve been working on and have seen in myself, as TCK, and in others:
1. Monthly plans for everything. Telephone, cable TV and Internet. There is no way for me to buy a 3 year plan.
-“I do that or something prepaid so I don’t have to worry about paying the bills later.”
– “I’d rather pay like €10 more for my home phone flat rate and be able to terminate the contract as soon as possible when I need it than to be stuck for a year or even more, it scares me.”
2. Laptop instead of a bulky desktop PC. It is useful when visiting family abroad.
“I have a laptop now… I managed to move my desk when I needed it, but it wasn’t practical as I never had it NOW and HERE.”
3. I prefer to rent furnished. The thought of buying furniture makes me uncomfortable.
– “The idea of buying a property scares me. I don’t even have a car.”
– “In the past, I have borrowed furniture. Other than the table and chairs, all my current furniture is borrowed, except I bought the fridge.”
“I had a panic attack when we bought our sofa, even though we had agreed to live here for a while.”
4. I don’t decorate my room very much. Why bother buying fancy curtains and repainting them? I’ll probably be moving soon.
– “For a long time I never decorated my walls, and I never understood why I didn’t. But what I decorate in the sense of utility, I make the effort to individualize and elaborate it myself (it comforts my soul). My main aspect when it comes to decorating: Functionality over Design”.
– “I decorate and I paint. I figure that even if I’m only here for a month, it’s my home. I got it from my mom: she made all places beautiful, no matter how little time we stayed.”
5. I’d rather watch movies online than have DVDs. But I’m not a pirate!
“I’d rather rent movies than own them. I like to own as little as possible.”
6. I am very frugal. The less things I own, the less bound and happy I feel.
– “I like thrift stores. I fix things to fit. When I don’t need them anymore, I’ll sell them at a garage sale or return them to the thrift store. Don’t attach to my stuff.”
– “I get rid of things when I can but it seems that my belongings only increase because I keep every note, letter, card, gift from my friends, family and acquaintances”.
7. I love books and have my own little library, but I try to borrow books whenever possible. Have you ever tried to move a library? Not fun…books are heavy!
“I make a point of *only* buying books that are really good, not just somewhat good.”
8. My career is mobile. I like being able to decide where I want to work.
“My career is not that mobile, it’s an international career, but I can’t get up and move when I feel like it. I have a lot of flexibility though.”
“I don’t have any plans for the future, which sometimes scares me when I see my friends planning their careers. They decide now what they want to do in two years. I say I’ll try to finish my studies.” From time to time we’ll see.”
9. I don’t have a big wardrobe at home but I dress well.
10. I don’t have large pets, but I can accommodate a cat.
“I don’t have any pets and I don’t intend to have any (reason: what if he dies? More pain and grief… I can’t deal with any more of that right now…)
The following are more lifestyle habits of other TCKs:
11. Buy everything in bulk, or for clothes and shoes, buy them too big to last at least two years!
12. My family is still trying to get over the “buy in bulk” syndrome. When we first came to the States, we bought everything we could in bulk (we still do a lot of it to save money) because “you never know if you’ll find it again.”
13. “How about always having ‘storage?’ I’m an adult TCK and all 5 of my brothers and sisters have rental storage units.Growing up we always had to have a storage place for all the family stuff.It baffles my other friends, who thinks it’s a great indulgence.:
14. “Have a complete list in your head of essentials to pack when you go on a trip (eg baby wipes, hairbrush, etc.) just use the same list every time you pack.
15. Find out that you’re always trying to organize trips with friends, then get mad when they’re so dumb in organizing trips or afraid to travel alone.
16. You feel rushed every time you enter an airport or a train platform.
The list continues:
As I weighed the 10 garments above, I realized that this is not a complete list (I could go on to another 10 garments quite easily) and that it is not a “one size fits all” list. either. Some of the habits I’ve identified above will be common to many TCKs, but there are always examples that come to mind of TCKs that have broken one or more of the above.
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