Do you know someone who is never to blame? Is it always someone else’s fault or problem? Sounds familiar? They are persuasive guilty. When you take on a Blamer in a Custody Battle, you’ll have your hands full. Most high conflict personalities (narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial, and paranoid) are persuasive culprits and are very convincing.
Persuasive blamers have a lifelong pattern of blaming problems in their lives. They are unable to see, understand and accept that they are responsible for their own difficulties in life. Because they cannot see that they are responsible, it turns their lives and the lives of those around them into chaos.
People who blame persuasively have cognitive distortions that cause them to have a negative and self-sabotaging view of the world and/or themselves. This distortion can be so deeply ingrained that your ability to think or receive new information is nearly impossible. Instead of stepping back and analyzing the facts of the situation and taking the necessary steps to correct it, the Blamer goes out and locates someone who will confirm, validate, and support their misrepresentations, the Defender.
If the Defender offers solutions to the problem or begins to see through the Blamer’s game, then the Blamer will react with strong emotion and manipulate the Defender through the use of seduction, tears, playing the “helpless victim”, etc. cooperation of your attorney.
Projection is another method that Persuasive Blamers use with great success. This diverts the culprit from his own unacceptable behavior and creates a situation where he simply does not have to be responsible for his own choices or actions.
In Family Court, the Perpetrator has the advantage because Family Court professionals do not understand personality disorders, so they easily fall victim to the Perpetrator’s manipulative tactics.
Understanding guilty parties and high conflict personalities and their endless patterns of blame is the first critical step to take before facing them in Family Court.
