I’ve spent years studying French women, as well as other naturally thin people, and there is a method to their “thinness,” but it’s probably not what you think. It does not imply diets and deprivations. It’s an attitude, a personal style, a way of seeing the world, and it starts from within.
While diet programs and other approaches keep you focused on your “weight problem,” the French approach to living a slim lifestyle is probably contrary to what you’ve been taught.
From the countryside of Provence to the bistros of Paris, I have paid close attention to the attitudes and behaviors of slender, elegant, and intelligent women. His approach to food, weight, and life is very different from the “no pain, no gain” mentality of American culture. Instead, her mindset is based on pleasure and personal style, both of which are incredible tools for weight loss.
I realized a long time ago that if I wanted to be a slim, elegant, and intelligent woman, I had to move away from the diet industry and toward a culture that lived a lean lifestyle long before our country existed. What I discovered is that there are certain things that I never hear a thin, elegant and intelligent woman say. In today’s article, I want to share a few with you so that you can begin to identify some of the blocks that may be preventing you from having the body and life of your dreams.
“I’m on a diet.”
Diets don’t work. Period. If they did, there wouldn’t be a billion dollar industry that continued to thrive despite its enormous failure rate. What the hell? What other industry succeeds with a failure rate of over ninety-five percent? Slim, elegant, and intelligent women know that it’s not about another diet, but an attitude and mindset that keeps them slim.
Diets = misery. Who wants that? She is definitely not a woman who values pleasure, personal style, and joie de vivre.
So what do you do when you want to lose a few kilos? Well, she has her secret strategies and techniques that guide her body back to her ideal weight without much drama.
“I just read a great article on emotional eating.”
You’ll find a slim, elegant, and intelligent woman reading a great article in Vogue, Bon Appetit, or maybe The New Yorker, but you won’t find her wasting her time reading about how she has a huge problem she needs to fix.
Every time you read a diet book or an article on how to overcome emotional eating, you are confirming your belief that you have a problem.
Here’s the problem: focus on the problem. What you focus on grows, so learning to shift your attention to what you want is magical and very slimming. When you start following the pleasure, you’ll put down the diet books and pick up the stuff you’ve wanted to read for years or take a class you’ve been putting off until you lose weight.
You will start living your life now as you would then, reading things that will inspire you, not convince you that you are broken, because you are not!
The result: weight loss.
“I stink”.
I’ll be honest. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t occasionally think they suck. I certainly do. However, a slim, elegant and intelligent woman does not wallow in her self-deprecating thoughts and certainly does not say them out loud. She doesn’t feed it by focusing on him, finding evidence of it, and living his life from a place of “I stink.”
Instead, she realizes that she is not her thoughts, that she has an amazing life to create, and immediately focuses her attention on the most beautiful and inspiring things. Sure, she does stupid things just like everyone else, and yes, she probably has some cellulite or other bumps, lumps, and quirks, but she sees this as a natural part of being a woman, not evidence that she’s worthless.
She embraces her strengths and weaknesses, and that alone makes her irresistible to those honored to be in her presence.
“I lost control.”
Even if she is waist-deep in the refrigerator, a slim, elegant and smart woman will never say that she has lost control, because she realizes that every action she takes is completely her own. You cannot experience being in control if you are constantly walking around thinking you are out of control. So if this is what you believe, I challenge you to start saying before every action you take, “I am choosing to do this.”
By repeating this to yourself, you will begin to run your mind, and a woman who is the CEO of her mind is unstoppable.
“My weight is ______.”
She’ll tell you what she cooked last night, where she went on vacation, and the designer of her dress, but she won’t talk to you about her weight. While many women will obsess, talk and share the weight of her with the world, the slim, elegant and intelligent woman does not dare to take her personal business to the streets. Also, she doesn’t focus on scale. She won’t find her sitting in some meeting having a weekly weigh-in. On the contrary! Instead of concentrating on the scale, she notices how her clothes fit, how she feels in her own body, and how much joy she is producing, not a number on a piece of metal.
If your clothing is tight, you simply re-evaluate your current lifestyle and options and make any necessary adjustments to return to your ideal weight.
No diet. No drama. Just tweaks and adjustments.
(In the Slim, Chic and Savvy program, by the way, we do something weekly, but it’s NOT a weigh-in. It’s much more powerful and definitely more pleasurable, and this tool alone has been accused of causing weight loss.)
“I’m hungry.”
When she’s hungry, a slim, elegant, smart woman eats. She has programmed her body to expect meals at certain times, usually breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with an occasional afternoon snack. As a result, her body’s metabolism works like a machine, not storing, but releasing fat. She, too, is not afraid of light hunger. In fact, she experiences it several times a day just before her meal, which, in her opinion, adds a special sauce of delight to her next dining experience. She won’t find her skipping meals because she’s trying to lose weight. If she decides not to eat at mealtime, it is because she is not hungry, not because she is wanting to lose weight.
She honors her body by listening to it and is slim as a result. Here’s a great lesson to learn for any woman who wants to lose weight.
“I’m full.”
Just as she doesn’t starve herself, the slim, elegant, and smart woman rarely overeats and almost never fills up. If she overeats once in a while (we’re all human), she makes up for it right away by cutting back on her next few meals.
She believes that life is best lived on the middle path, where you eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re elegantly satisfied. No diet. No drama. Just tweaks and adjustments.
“I don’t have time to take care of myself.”
This is a lie, and the slender, elegant, and smart woman knows it. You take the time to do what’s important to you, and if you’re not taking care of yourself it’s because you don’t see yourself as a priority.
Every French woman I have met understands the importance of taking care of herself. She makes her a better mother, wife, lover, friend, and woman. From cooking to taking care of her skin, she understands that a quality life requires time and space for her own nourishment. She’ll say no in a skinny minute to something she’s not excited about if it means a little extra time to relax, breathe, and enjoy her own life.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever noticed what naturally thin people say or don’t say? share
