I’m sure one of the myths in our society created by men to feel good and blindly accepted by women is that women are so messed up that’s why dating is so hard and women don’t have the same sex drive than men, that’s why men are getting less. How blade.
How do you explain the fact that in other parts of the world women initiate sexual contact, have so much energy and drive that they work their men so hard in the bedroom that men can never put on a pound? This whole thing about looking at what’s going on in your own bedroom or backyard as representative of “the world everywhere” is from the last century. Get out of your caves and holes, boys. What you don’t know is depriving you of what you really want, and a lot.
Many men in our society spend a lot of time thinking about and fantasizing about sex, while also fearing it. They want to be with women in every sense of the word and many of them have relationships, but these relationships are not passionately intimate relationships. They are based more on social compatibility (similar values, interests, and goals) and less on sexual attraction and passion. This has both positive and negative aspects. Positive because it means that there is good camaraderie and they rarely argue. What would they fight for? They have no fire. They don’t make each other’s blood boil. But since there is no flame, the relationship is also predictable and very boring, sexually.
The man concludes that it is because the woman has very little sexual desire and therefore leaves the relationship to find more “sex” when she cannot inspire the person she is with to want to have more sex, and a lot. less meet yours. The sexually incompetent and uninspired drive seeks. But let her not even go there yet…
This weekend, in one of my Fearless Sexuality Workshops, I used one of the “I dare you” questions posed to African youth (ages 12-18) preparing for initiation into adulthood: Does the sexually bold and confident in this room please get up?
There were eleven men in all in my workshop, but for almost a minute no one stood up. Finally, a boy stood up rather hesitantly. I asked him why he thought he was “THE MAN”. His response was “I don’t know. I stood up.”
I asked the other ten why they didn’t stand up and their summed up answers are something like, “We don’t know what to say to a woman when we meet them or what to do with them sexually, that’s why we checked into your shop.” . This seemed like the most logical and analytical response, right?
Wrong. A REAL MAN is fearless from the heart and soul. He FEEL something so powerful within him, like an inner lion, that it rises up when his manhood is challenged. This something powerful is not based on a false sense of bravery (aka aggressiveness, which is just FEAR backwards) or mindless greed-driven (hyena-style) bravery, but is based on INNER STRENGTH. He may not know exactly how it will turn out, but trust himself to find out as he goes, after all, HE IS THE KING OF THE JUNGLE!
But where are those men? Where are the men who ONLY STAND UP because that’s the man’s thing to do? Where are the men who take initiative, risk and challenge, and acknowledge their actions without making silly excuses? Where are the men who are so in touch with masculine energy and act without FEAR? Where are the real sexually bold and confident men?
Men today spend so much time and energy on flirting, conversation starters, approach techniques, and seducing routines that these very things have become their excuses for not taking the initiative, risks, and challenges of BEING A REAL MAN. . Many are too insecure to see what is happening to them and too dumb to acknowledge the fact that an important and crucial aspect of being a REAL MAN IS ADJUSTING YOUR OWN PACE.
The sad truth is that if you don’t take the helm, the ship will drift wherever the helm points. If you don’t cultivate a strong sexual sense (bold and confident) and figure out when to listen to your sexual instincts, you’ll find yourself waiting until your hunger for sex and your inner fire and passion, which has been building, jumps out like a volcano eruption, then you jump up, grab any woman and expect her to pretend you’re “THE MAN”. And when the woman is emotionally healthy and honest enough to tell you that you’re not man enough for her, you quickly bail her out by saying, “I really like you. But I’ve decided I’m not good enough for you. This isn’t about me.” about you. It’s about me.” At least you’re being honest.
Trusting your sexual intuition and instincts clarifies your inner vision, directs you to the right woman, and helps you do THE THINGS THAT ARE RIGHT FOR YOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL instead of what someone else (who doesn’t even know or care about). you) tells you what to do.
Your sexual instincts help you make better decisions at any given moment, think of more creative ways and ideas to be with a woman, and act immediately without wasting time second-guessing yourself because your instincts tell you the truth about how you can help you physically. , emotional and sexual ways that your conscious mind (conversation line, conversation starter, technique, or routine) could never tell you. It’s like having your own personal trainer, muse, bodyguard, and board of advisors all rolled into one.
In the beginning, when you’re starting to trust your sexual instincts again, sometimes you’ll get it right and sometimes you’ll get it wrong. However, with practice you will get a better idea of when to listen to your natural sexual guidance, which is already within you.
Relearning to trust your sexual instincts is worth it, in the short and long term.
How wonderful it would be if we all recognized our sexual instincts for what they are: a recipe for mutual passion and intimacy, and a vehicle for true love and compatibility.
